Week in review

The States Attorney lawyer okay'd the library visit (see June 19th's entry for the incident.) as a violation and a warrant has been put out for his arrest. Since its a misdemeanor he wont be actively sought out - he already has several out for him for violating his bond by leaving the state. I signed it yesterday.

Guess he has to actually hurt us to get picked up.

While there, my rep told me to get copies of the two reports we had filed earlier - the email one and the one filed when the cops got him out of the house. She said there is important stuff there for my lawyer and for the guardian (we'll go for that on August 7). She neglected to say they would not give me any but the first pages. So we have to subpoena the entire reports to get the witness information. She thinks its essential because its very crazy and somewhat violent so will have to pay to get that.


He is currently in his third stay as a guest of the state of Indiana. Once again its theft - possession of stolen property. But it appears he is not getting out on his own recognizance as he did the past two times. I check the county inmate search daily to see if by any chance he was moved to the hospital wing (they dont have a morgue listing - lol) His court date was yesterday but its been changed on line to Aug 9. The States Attorney lawyer has called over there and is working to get those reports.


I also went to the lawyer's to sign the papers asking for a guardian ad litem to be appointed for the two girls. We are going to pre-emptively amputate any hopes he has of visitation or custody arrangement for them. (Not that he is really interested - mainly he just wants to control something.) I will probably put up a copy of that paper in the near future.

New design

How do you like it? I took the picture used for the heading in San Diego on the Fourth of July 2007 from the hiking trail of Cabrillo National Monument.

Virtual TPR

Our Beloved Therapist

My kids' therapist - now all three are seeing her - said terminating parental rights on the basis of mental illness is virtually impossible. She said, ironically, the courts do not want to seem prejudiced against the mentally ill. Hmmmm.

That said, she suggested a course that, not surprisingly, my lawyer had used earlier. In this case it was a crack addict. Basically, they set up a series of criteria to be met - in the crack addict's case it was to be in treatment for a fixed amount of time, and some nine other items and then they could arrange for visitation.

The therapist said that he would not be allowed to be with the children at this point because he is very manic and will need therapy just to be in a mental state to see them. So the criteria would be similar to that in her letter - that he be in treatment for six months, and that his following the treatment be confirmed by all members of his treatment team. That he receive therapy to prepare to meet with the kids. On my end, the kids and I would be prepared by the therapist for the kids to meet with him.

She does not think he will do any of these things so his parental rights of decisions about the kids, input into their lives, and right to hear about their lives will be effectively terminated.

She also suggested tho that the court may order a supervised visit - I have to make sure in this case that a professional supervisor is hired as we have heard stories of the person's mother (the one who needs to be supervised) doing the supervision - effectively not supervised at all - in which case she was sure he would not want to follow the criteria - in fact would be unable to do so - and after two visits we could file to stop them. But she said she was certain he would need to go to therapy before being allowed with the kids and that he would never do that due to his gradiose vision of himself.

The kids and I could live with a series of forced supervised visits. We would be prepared and they would know how to handle it all. So its livable. And in the long run it would take care of him as an issue.

TPR

or "Terminating Parental Rights"

In the meantime, add a few more thousand to the cost of this fiasco. The lawyer has suggested we get a court-ordered psychological exam of the FSO in order to block him from even entertaining the idea of having time with the kids. I have since asked her to find out if we can get his parental rights terminated on the basis of mental illness and inability to effectively parent due to his illness. I told her I want to hit him with the court equivalent of nuclear blasts - lets hit him hard with everything we can and protect my kids.

I have researched it. Most of the information is for removing kids from the family unit and hardly any of it dealt with an unfit parent. What was out there makes me believe we can go initially for a temporary finding that he is unfit and therefore needs his parental rights temporarily terminated. They require two findings to terminate parental rights:

"16) Inability to discharge parental responsibilities supported by competent evidence from a psychiatrist, licensed clinical social worker, or clinical psychologist of mental impairment, mental illness or mental retardation as defined in Section 1-116 of the Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities Code [405 ILCS 5/1-116], or developmental disability as defined in Section 1-106 of that Code, and there is sufficient justification to believe that the inability to discharge parental responsibilities shall extend beyond a reasonable time period."*

*From DCFS web resource

Then, since he is obviously not going to get treatment, wait the required time to prove it extends beyond a reasonable time period and go for permanent TPR.

It would ease my mind considerably if I can get this done successfully. Its probably difficult tho because the courts do not like to do this. But I think since I am there as the custodial parent and its not unusual to determine fitness to parent when working on custody issues that its a possibility.

Aaaaaaargggggh!

My court date is JANUARY 18 and 31 2008!

The only thing is with such a long time between now and then and his mental illness apparently increasing by leaps and bounds, I can hope the time slot will be enough for him to meet his fate as predicted by my kids' therapist.

Bringing you up to date

Hi, MOM!

Its been a LONG time since I last logged an entry.

Readers Digest version. Hang on - we are going to be moving along fast here!

After getting out on bond in Illinois, he proceeded to Indiana - out of state is a no-no - where he was arrested on three charges. Two of the charges were on theft - having stolen items and one on criminal conversion. He was let out a few days later on his own recognizance. One week later, he was back. This time in the hospital wing but no charges listed. When I checked out the charges, the county jail told me they were not listed because they were federal charges. He was let out on his own recognizance once again while we were on vacation.

Then yesterday we had a court date where my lawyer requested a preliminary hearing date and a trial date. He was being dropped by his latest lawyer (#6 - the one after the real estate lawyer) and picking up a new one (#7 - the one who specializes in the rights of fathers.) My lawyer emailed me today (Note: Italics are used to protect privacy:


Hi Eudoxia…..well, the attorney from new office appeared and enter his appearance as his lawyer. The previous one withdrew. We set trial and pretrial dates which are on there way to you in the order. The trial date is way out but that is because of the judge’s schedule. Now, this morning, I have a direct voice mail from him in which he says he has fired the new lawyer's office and is going to represent himself…and I will have to deal directly with him….He left another voice mail the day before saying that he was now going to tell you and me the way things were going to be from now on and that he wanted to have one week with the girls….he also said he is in Indianapolis….so we have our trial dates and we will get this done then whether he has a lawyer, shows up, or what. I will want the therapist to testify if it goes to trial so there will be no contact with the kids. Let me know if you have any questions….Your Lawyer

Our holiday over the Fourth

I looked back over my posts from last year - I've been doing this for more than a year now. Its been a long hard road and my kids and I (and my mom) have suffered a lot. But the four of us (my kids and I) went on vacation last week over the Fourth holiday. For the first time, we went without him and it was absolutely lovely.

We hit Legoland and the San Diego Zoo. We drove over 300 miles to get to Santa Barbara with a stay in Santa Monica. Santa Barbara was like heaven.

In fact the entire trip was like heaven because we didnt have him to drag along with us and listen to his anxiety attacks and control exercises.


We all agreed it was our best vacation yet and we are looking forward to next year's!

But unfortunately now its back to the grind.