I was thinking ...

about the upcoming 3/4 meeting, the 3/14 pre-trial meeting and the response to the petition.

It seems to me that, as I said earlier in the blog, the 3/4 meeting and 3/14 pre-trial are just going to be wastes of my money. And, I can fully expect this to go to trial in August.

I think his lawyer can sit in a judge's chambers listening and negotiating fair settlements but he can't make FSO accept one. My lawyer and his came out of that chamber thinking the proposal was workable. Yet, its clear from his response to the petition, which was filed three weeks after the first pretrial, that FSO is not working on the same page as his lawyer.


The petition response was as ridiculous as it gets.

I know I've covered this ground before but my feelings about it are somewhat different. I realize now that it doesnt matter either way. The only thing the on-going divorce procedure is stopping me from doing is get myself up on places like Match.com so I can date again. I can do it but there are not many responses to "Currently separated" - I myself am not interested in anyone who is separated and not divorced or widowed. Other than that, our life goes on in the same way.

If it goes to August, we have a chance for the stock to recover some value and its more likely he will have another episode or not keep to the criteria to see the kids. If he settles now, I will be free and we'll know the money available, and no more legal costs. Or at least, minimal ones.

And I can stop making his car payments which cost me over 400 a month which is a lot of money. He can have his car back and you know what they say...


Three's the charm!

Various

Here's the newest:

1. My lawyer and his are going to meet on 3/4 to try and try to reduce the number of issues.

2. He responded officially (again) to the divorce on 2/5 with a pretty ludicrous set of demands: I was to pay him maintenance, I am to pay half of his bills incurred after the split-up, he is not to pay any child support, I am to pay his lawyer and court costs, and he is to have parental responsibilities and visitation.

3. He did meet with the psychologist but we have heard nothing. My lawyer sent him a letter asking for information on that meeting.

4. He asked his lawyer to ask mine if I wanted to file joint taxes with him. What a joke! I told her even if it would save me money I wouldnt - but actually it would only save him money since I get the kids and house deductions. And he has not filed his 2006 yet.

5. His lawyer says he is "pretty stable" and "doing well."

6. It is very important to him that the cause not be listed as mental cruelty.

My observations:

1. It occurred to me his lawyer really needs to get this done because there is a good chance he will not be "pretty stable" and "doing well" for long which means he can get fired and kiss any chance of payment "good-bye". Thus the rush to fix it up. (Assuming he is pretty stable and doing well.)

My predictions:

1. The March 4th meeting will be an exercise in futility for my lawyer and his as I cannot see him agreeing to anything. Remember, he filed that response three weeks after the judge already set out suggested solutions (eg. setting up a children's fund that I can draw at double the rate for the first three years.) This is the same judge who will decide the case if it goes to trial.

2. If he does agree its because he is desperate for cash or has been told by his lawyer to agree or be dropped. According to his lawyer he could not find a lawyer willing to represent him until he came back to this guy - who actually said he took him because his own brother is mentally ill in the same way. And, if he does agree, there is a huge chance he will rescind at the last minute because its never going to be what he wants.

3. He is going to force it to go to the trial date - again, unless he is desperate for cash or has a threat to be dropped by his lawyer for being unable to work with him.

He has to tread a fine line. First, he is not truly interested in the kids but wants to be a force somewhere in life. And against me of course. On the other hand, he is saying he is too mentally ill to ever work again. So he cant look too good now, can he?


to go!

Sad but true...

to go.

Money and Floating

So the account for the 90,000 has finally been set up.

EXCEPT...

Its only for 75,000 due to a fall in value since it was awarded back in October.

AND

its in the form of a 401K which means I will have to pay 20% taxes on it - tho I am sure it will not end up as income to me so I should get that back. And I read that I wont have to pay the penalty.

My lawyer's financial assistant sent an unrequested by me letter to his lawyer asking for an extension on getting in the financials which I didnt ask for and dont need. And it cost me. That has really p.o.d me as my latest bill was $7000 for a trial that never took place and now I have to pay for a stupid letter. Tho I am going to point out I didnt request this so should not be billed.

And getting that stuff together - for no real reason - is such a pain. My printer is not working so I will have to bring it to a printing place - hopefully I can write it to my camera card and bring it in. I'm going to call today to find out. It will be nice to have that out of my hair.

With my debts paid off, I'll have only 4 months left of income from that money while I have six months left of time to trial. Which means I wont be getting any settlement money until next year at this time which means I hit Bank of Mom again.

Its really so unfair.

BUT...

I can get really mad about it or I can just acknowledge that its tough luck and that its out of my control


and just float.

I choose to float. Why make my kids and myself unhappy?