"Well, he IS their father."

Tuesday we worked on the settlement. Key to it is child custody and visitation. What I do not understand is why the Order of Protection does not keep us from having to go through any of this. Maybe because she hopes to forestall a major custody battle?

But she did use that old chestnut - "Well, he is their father." People just dont get it even after I explain. I think they are not listening. They keep picturing some "Father Knows Best" view of our family life and they dont understand that we never had a family life. Its like I'm trying to disrupt a relationship between them and their dad yet that relationship has never existed. Or they cannot fathom how narcissist he was.

I should come up with a formula:
# of visits he can have = (# of minutes listening to stories, biking, walking, swimming in our pool, swimming with them on vacation, talking to them about school, laughing at their kid jokes, taking them to the library, playing with them in the yard, taking them to the park, playing a game at home, spending special time on vacation) / (# of years we've had kids)

It is extremely irritating.

I researched and found out yesterday that mental illness is reason for termination of parental rights in our state. I have not found a single person - including our very experienced therapist - who thinks he is going to pull out of this. My plan is to wait for when he ends up under a viaduct or whatever will happen to him and then go back to my lawyer to have that done.