Rubbed Raw and feeling the effects

Yesterday, I went from lying in bed thinking how I need my mom to help me clean my room to actually making myself do stuff so that I could jump-start my brain again. I think the fact that I could make myself get up and clean my room myself and accomplish many things in terms of school, the divorce, kids' appts, and financial work during the afternoon and evening is a GREAT sign that I can and will return to normal.

I spent most of the past month in my bedroom/"safe room" locked in with two kids and a dog. And my time outside the room being harassed relentlessly or intervening to keep my kids from being harassed relentlessly. So I have to accept the fact I'm raw and have to heal. But I am feeling better this morning which is nice for a change and I am looking forward to being all caught up in school and once again cooking healthy and eating healthy because we are safe in our house once again. I couldnt cook much before - too much interference and harassment.


What would I do without my mom?

My mom came over and started cleaning the insane former SO's room. You would not believe the stuff she found in there. But more importantly, she came and ate lunch with me and we visited. I need that more than the help cleaning. I dont know why - usually I'm quite a loner. But I think that is one reason I did so well in the afternoon.