My Mother
Last week, Mother pointed out to me that its a game he plays and that I need to refuse to play it. Unless I'm enjoying it. Which I manifestly am not.
She promised to help me financially if he gets the axe - so I can stop worrying about it - and we both agreed that sometimes the worst you anticipate is really not as horrible as you thought. I've had it hard before, I come from good, hard-working stock, and I can manage.
And she suggested I just turn it back on him and not engage in the conversation. So, the next time he tells me he's going to lose his job, she suggested I respond by saying "I'm sure you'll find something and be able to keep meeting your responsibilities." Then I have to walk away from it and let the chips fall where they may (meaning I do NOT get involved with his job hunt or his plan. I have to just let it go and cope when the time comes. This has happened once before - four years ago - and we managed.)
So this week when he tried a variation of the game - I told him I had read about the earnings and wasnt everyone at work relieved, he immediately cut to the scenario that he was going to get a lousy rating this time too and that meant he'd get demoted. No comment on the excellent earnings. My response: I simply said I was sure he'd manage whatever happened. He responded that because he had "responsibilities" he had to just accept it. My response was to point out his statement about the fact it was his responsibility was like saying we have ice in winter. He asked for clarification and I just said that of course it was his responsibility and I left the room. End of conversation. Next time I wont even go that far. So ...
Game, set, match!
And, Mother was proud!
