My kids and I navigate the city streets while my husband bobs at the tail end of our wake. The conversation ranges wildly. He has no idea what we are talking and laughing about. Its so much fun to be together. We enjoy ourselves.
I guess he does too.
But its worse when he decides to join us. I have to continually be aware of him and try to work him into the conversations. Bring him up to speed at a regular rate on what we are actually talking about. Its like having a guest that you must keep in the loop due to courtesy.
In therapy, I asked him why he doesnt walk with us. His answer: he couldnt keep up with us because we walked too fast.
Our youngest was 5. He was 48.
I used to stop and wait for him to catch up. Or wave him up even with us so he can join our conversations. But the result was always the same - he had very meagre interest and his line would slowly feed out and he'd be behind us again.
The advantage to this is I do not have to hear the complaints - the walk is too far (but not too far for the kids - 2 of which are under 10), its too hot, its too humid, we should have done this another time, we should have gone to another place. But I never hear the one I now long to hear:
We should have left him at home.
